Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Updated Burrito Championship Series

Nearly a year ago, Feech Lamana posted a controversial article concerning Athens area burrito joints. I was just reading over old posts and decided to retest his conclusions with some additional criteria. And though most know where my loyalties lie, I will attempt to remain as unbiased as possible.

Criteria include: Price, Aluminum Foil Test, Tasty-Nugishness, Flavor, The Chicken/Steak Question

Cass's definitons of the terms still apply, and the flavor addition is pretty self explanatory

The Chicken/Steak Question: How much meat do they provide when asked for a mixture of steak and chicken. Do they give you two half scoops, or do they just say fuck it and put a full scoop of steak and chicken in the burrito for the same price.

The scores will be tallied slightly differently. The four competitors will be graded individually in each category. The best in each category will receive 1 point while the worst of each category will receive 4 points

The competitors remain the same, but I think you will find the results to be shocking.

Qdoba'a Chicken Ranchero Burrito:

Price: 5:49

Aluminum Foil Test: Passes consistently. These guys make some huge burritos. It should be
noted that much of this bulk comes from the ample beans and rice they supply, which slightly detracts from its mammoth size.

Tasty Nugishness: The free drink with student ID is definitely a tasty nug. Their Queso sauce is delicious, though I disagree with Fred's assertion that it should be added to the burrito. I have found that the addition of the queso sauce causes the Burrito to become more or less a chicken or steak soup surrounded by a tortilla rather than a bowl. At 2 dollars and change the queso sauce is a little pricy on the side, but its mere availability combined with its deliciousness merits the award one quarter of a tasty nug point. They give you free chips though not the industry's best, = .75 tasty nug points.

Flavor: This is the category where I belive the Qdoba falls a little short compared to others. The use of white rice detracts from the flavor, and the fact that the burrito is top heavy with rice and beans drowns out other flavors.

The chicken/steak question: I have found that the employees of Qdoba will grant the two full scoops of each around 50-65% of the time. I guess it just depends on who you get.

Conclusion: Cass has asserted that passing the aluminum foil test will gaurantee that your burrito will be delicious. I maintain that passing the aluminum foil test will gaurantee that your burritio will be huge. If you are hungry as balls, this is the burrito for you. These guys pass the aluminum foil test nealry 100% of the time.

Taco Bell's Grilled Stuft Burrito:

Price: Depending on beef, chicken or steak, 1.99-2.79

Aluminum Foil Test: Again, no aluminum foil. But these are decent sized burritos, so the ration of price to size will be taken into consideration, as to not eliminate this burrito from contention.

Tasty Nugishness: The drive through = .75 tasty nug points. Most will agree that T-Bell sauce is the tits = .5 tasty nug points. Late night availability = .5 points.

Flavor: With a little fire sauce, this burrito has a surprisingly solid flavor, especially for a fast food restaurant.

The Chicken/Steak Question: Not applicable because I even if I asked for both I would not really be able to see the distribution of steak and chicken.

Conclusion: This is a burrito for those on the go. Or for those that have to resort to finding change under the couch cushions.

Barberitos' Skinny:

Price: 4.99

Aluminum Foil Test: Passes extremely rarely

Tasty Nugishness: Best chips in the industry = 1 point, several convenient locations = .75 points

Flavor: Flavored rice, and the best of the chicken/steak allows this burrito to provide a party in your mouth. They also give a lot of cheese, which is a plus in my book.

The Chicken/Steak Question: The employees of Barberitos will grant you two full scoops nearly 90% of the time. Lots a meat.

Moes' Joey Bag of Donuts:

Price: 5.99

Aluminum Foil Test: Passes, but inconsistently.

Tasty Nugishness: Non industry best free chips = .75 tasty nug points, subtract .25 tasty nug points for the stupid colors. = .5 tasty nug points. Only 8 stamps for free burrito = 1 point. Subtract .25 points because the last time I was there, those assholes threw my 75 cents in change into the tip jar without even asking me.

Flavor: This burrito is average in flavor.

The Chicken/Steak Question: The employees of Moe's will grant you the two full scoops around 75% of the time

Conclusion: Moe's delivers an average burrito for an average burrito eater.


Price: 3
Aluminum Foil Test: 1
Tasty Nugishness: = 2.00 1
Flavor: 2
The Chicken/Steak Question: 3

Total: 10

Taco Bell:

Price: 1
Aluminum Foil Test: 3
Tasty Nugishness: = 1.75 2
Flavor: 3
The Chicken/Steak Question: 3

Total: 12


Price: 2
Aluminum Foil Test: 3
Tasty Nugishness: = 1.75 2
Flavor: 1
The Chicken/Steak Question: 1

Total: 9


Price: 4
Aluminum Foil Test: 2
Tasty Nugishness: = 1.25 4
Flavor: 2
The Chicken/Steak Question: 2

Total: 14

Final Standings:

Barberitos 9
Qdoba 10
Taco Bell 12
Moe's 14

Note: If you are one who values size over flavor, the top two spots might be reversed.

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